Confidence and Social Conditioning

Confidence is something that is developed with experiences and our level of self-esteem influences our ability to respond confidently or not, to circumstances.  I believe that babies and young children are naturally self-accepting and are risk takers, but that these tendencies to behave boldly are conditioned out of us, consciously and unconsciously. 

We underestimate the power of belief.  In fact, I know that most people do not even realize that their lives evolve around a cluster of beliefs and that beliefs can be changed. 

Usually when I ask someone why he or she thinks the way they do about something they answer that ‘it is just the way it is’ or some variant of this.  Well, I say that it is not ‘just the way it is’ for everyone, but it will be for the person who truly see life from this angle. 

Remember that we do not see reality as it is; we see it as we are. 

It is all about perception, as perceptions rule.  Even animals and insects can be conditioned into certain perceptions.  If you take a baby elephant and tie it’s leg to a post or tree with a strong chain, it will grow up to believe that it cannot escape from even a flimsy rope tied around its leg later in life. 

The young elephant gives up trying to escape and comes to believe that whatever is tied to it’s leg is stronger that it is.  This is why you can see images from India of elephants with a single rope around one leg holding the huge elephant to one spot. It’s been conditioned to accept this circumstance as true even though it is not. 

Likewise, if you take several flies and put it in a jar with the cap on and let them experience hitting up against the cap without escape they will start to give up and will stop trying.  They will come to accept their environment as limited and even when you remove the cap, most will not fly out of the jar. 

If as a young child you formed a belief that said ‘I can’t do… or ‘I can’t be… it will determine your confidence to even try.  If you believe it strong enough, even if you do attempt to accomplish the goal, chances are you will self-sabotage and fail. 

There are all kinds of conditioned beliefs and illogical conclusions about our selves that are formed in early childhood like the elephant.  Recognizing and changing these limiting beliefs is a major key in developing the confidence to cast off the chains and move boldly in the directions of your dreams.