Confidence Buster: Self-Sabotage from Limiting Beliefs

Confidence is a powerful key in creating a life that is a masterpiece instead of just ‘scribble scrabble’.  At a very young age, I could tell that there were different levels on which to experience life and so did my young son. 

I remember when my son was about three years old, my husband drove up in his new car and my son suddenly did not want to stay in my car, he wanted to climb out and ride in the new shiny car. 

He also enjoyed air travel on airplanes and the beaches and ocean for vacation.  Now, this does not mean a three year-old is materialistic or greedy.  He just sees what is attractive to him and he enjoys adventure and travel. 

He had and still has the confidence to think ‘big’ and believe that he can create a life that is fun and meaningful for him.  This is the key:  FOR HIM! 

While I emphasize to him the need to be grateful and generous of heart, I believe it is good that he feels empowered to live the lifestyle that is at a level that is comfortable and exciting for him.  I encourage him to go for his highest good and to develop his gifts and talents without regard as to whether or not others approve or think that it is possible or not. 

As long as he truly believes, it is up to him.  Now here is a VERY IMPORTANT point:  It is not what he believes in his head but in his heart, meaning his unconscious or subconscious mind. 

The vast majority of people do not recognize the fact that over 90% of what runs our lives is out of our awareness. This is where self-sabotage comes in. 

Most of us have had situations, circumstances or even generational family belief patterns that influence us to make assumptions and form perceptions at an earlier age that become a part of our consciousness. 

If for example, you heard that money was evil or that rich people are suspect or that too much money was bad, you will unconsciously sabotage your business or career success around money.  Fearing money is a limiting belief. 

Money is not bad or good.  It is neutral and depends upon the consciousness of the person owning it to distribute it. 

If you think that you are unworthy at an unconscious level, it will influence your choice in relationships and how you are treated.  This is why you will notice patterns in your associations if you pay attention. 

I have personally discovered that my level of confidence and self-esteem is directly related to my ability to recognize and release these limiting beliefs and incorporate beliefs that empower me to create my own version of life that is my ‘masterpiece’. 

What dreams do you want to see manifested?  You have the ability, if you can only believe.

Comments

[Linda]

Great thoughts, I agree with what you wrote. But what would really help me is to read some clues on how to start shifting those limiting beliefs from intellectual realization to gut-level, neurological, or "heart" level... I can think of many ways my mother lowered my confidence when I was a child, and I know now they are not the truth about who I am. I tell myself that I love and accept myself. I even believe it. But how do I actually start to FEEL it? THAT would be a valuable thing to know!

[Valencia Ray]

Linda, Thanks for your comments. I had very similar circumstances to yours. In the beginning years when I decided to turn my thinking around, I was clueless to the kind of information that I know now. While there are a variety of processes and I can't take a one size fits all approach, I can give you some practical steps to start with. When I teach, on this topic, I always help in someway for people to begin to realize what beliefs are and what the subconscious mind is and just how powerful it is. 95% of our behavior is run by this part of our mind. This is also the place of our 'feeling nature', so you are right on target with your search for the 'heart' level. Here are two beginning 'baby step' things that I did that are deceptively powerful. Learn how to focus your mind or 'Meditate'. I wish I could explain more detail here, but in a nutshell, meditation is so powerful that progressive, cutting edge Neuroscientists are studying it aggressively right now and the results are amazing. In your case, it can help to quiet those thoughts (this takes some explaining) and can give you the power to begin to separate your sense of self from the thoughts. You can also access the subconscious through meditation. Now, there are other processes such as EFT and NLP that can readily help to change your neurological wiring, but you would need some guidance, especially with the NLP. In the meantime go to www.emofree.com to find TONS of information on EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique. The other thing that I did is persist on telling myself the affirmation 'I love and accept myself'. I even looked in the mirror when dressing and said this. While you are right, words alone make little change, until I form my teleclasses and webinars, I can't really do justice to explaining all this, but suffice it to say, that I can tell you that for sure, these techniques work to reach the subconscious mind and if you are committed you can 'relatively' simply begin to 'reprogram' your thinking. I will be releasing a book over the next few months and as I said, if you are interested, I will soon have a link to my website (being developed) from this page which will offer more info. Hope this is helpful.