Self-esteem that is healthy is an 'inside job'. While outer work or 'doing' something can temporary give us a 'high' and elevate how we feel, it generally does not last long.
Outer achievement will build your confidence to a degree, but your sense of self-worth, or self-esteem, must come from a deeper place within you if you want to be able to stand strong when people, situations and circumstances attempt to knock you off balance. Here is one of my favorite quotes:
"What lies behind us, and what lies before us, are tiny matters compared to what lies within us"
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
I used to have a chronic sense of inner turmoil. Sure, as I jumped over the hurdles of material achievement and collected degrees, more income or more possessions, I temporarily felt relief.
Also, I lived in a state of mind that constantly judged and criticized my past so called 'mistakes' or I was constantly planning my future or worrying about it. I was never enjoying my present. This to me is what hell is. It is mental torment.
Whether or not there is a physical place of hell cannot be proven. You can believe whatever you want to. I just know that when people do not like themselves, they find fault with themselves and with others. I know this even from my own experience and I see and witness this kind of behavior all the time.
I see a lot of hell on earth these days, and until I started to develop my inner world by taking my focus off of what was going on around me, I felt at times that my life was a living hell also. And I might add that it was my own inner turmoil that was contributing to my outer world turmoil being witnessed.
As I went inside by quieting my mind through reflective journaling and meditation, I begin to see that I am not my thoughts. I also have been able to put the pause button on the self-critical voices and see them for what they were; just stories going off in my head like an iPod left on repeat play.
I now understand that my self worth is in its essence not tied to outer accomplishment. I am valuable because as a Spiritual Being, I am good enough, I just AM. You can only come to this level of heart felt belief by developing the discipline of taking your attention away for even short periods of time, from 'doing'.
Just be still sometimes and give your mind, body and Spirit a chance to rest. I must add though that many times, I have had to address my own limiting beliefs and unconscious self-sabotaging behavior by using a variety of personal development processes as well as mindfulness practices.
It has been very well worth the effort. As Emerson said, what lies within us is far greater and more important than worrying about past and future and the opinions of what we have believed about ourselves from others.
Healthy self-esteem is the essence of your fundamental power.
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